Hell on Pancakes (A Deadlands: Hell on Earth Campaign)

Junkers and Junking

AFTER Echo checks to make sure Doc Edna definitely isn’t tainted…

Hey. Glad you could see us, Doc Edna. ‘preciate yer time. So, I wanted ta introduce ya to Melinda Meyers. Melinda, Doc Edna. Uh, so I’ll try an’ cut to the chase here, and then you guys can work out the details to suit ya, if that’s cool.

So, Melinda wants ta be a Junker that makes prosthetics. Everybody knows that yer the best cyberware Junker in Junkyard, Doc Edna. So, I’d like ta set up Melinda with an apprenticeship under ya, if you got the time an’ energy. Wait please, ‘fore ya answer, lemme explain the kinda thing I’m thinkin’, ‘cause I know yer prob’ly always gettin’ people who wanna be trained by ya.

I wanna say, I really believe in Melinda. She needs trainin’, but she’s passionate about helpin’ people, and she really cares ‘bout the spirits, so I really think she’ll be an ideal candidate. Motivated, and by the right reasons, I think you’ll prob’ly agree is real important in someone who wants ta be a cyber-doc. If ya find in a month or two that she ain’t workin’ out, like huge personality diff’rences or somethin’, we can always call it off… we can work out a probationary period where either side can cancel out the deal, I’m sure, ‘case there’s personality differences or something weird like that… but I really don’t think you’ll find Melinda’s lackin’ as far as smarts or interest or anything like that goes.

So, yer prob’ly wonderin’ what it is you get besides an eager apprentice who’ll generally make yer job easier since she can do lotsa shit fer you? First, straight-up money. I’m thinkin’ like ten grand. I’ll front it myself, so you’ve got that, to be returned if the deal is cancelled. ‘sides that? Once the probationary period you guys work out is done, I’ll give ya a choice: I kin either design ya two things, or I can build ya one thing. Couple o’ rules, like I ain’t makin’ no crazy fuckin’ guns built into cyber arms, or other weapons. I don’t do Junker weapons, and I try an’ avoid Junkerin’ up anything that kills people in general. It can’t be too stupid complicated like a hover-bus, or for some evil piece o’ shit… I mean, common sense here an’ I reserve the right to veto anything that seems wonky. But it’ll be o’ my highest quality and the profit after ya gimme all the parts I need to build it is all fer you.

So lessee… you get yerself a super eager and smart apprentice to make yer life easier. You get ten grand. And you’ll get either some sweet-ass designs or a sweet-ass thing I’ll make that you know will be awesome quality, which you can either keep or sell for probably a shitload o’ widgets.

Oh, stipulation. I talked it over with Melinda, and she really likes workin’ at the hospital, too. So I want ya to give her at least an hour a day where she kin do stuff at the hospital. She also gots a Aunt she gots to take care of, so you should know that in advance incase the Aunt needs her to stay home on some day to take care of her, or whatever. A personal stipulation of mine is that I want you to train Melinda hard. Reason I come to you ’bout this is that everybody knows yer the best at what ya do, and I want Melinda to become just as good as you. No mediocre-ness for someone of her potential.

Uh, so yeah, that’s my spiel, I think. Outlined what I’m willin’ ta give you if you’ll accept her, threw in my stipulations… I’m sure the two o’ you should be the ones to work out all the details and shit. Yer reasonable human beings, I’m sure you can work it out. Keep me updated, lemme know how it goes. I’ve set it up with the bank to stick the money in an escrow account, so once you guys work out the details to both yer satisfaction, Melinda can do some paperwork to transfer the money to you, Doc, so you can start as soon as yer both ready. I’ll be in town intermitently to check up on how things are goin’ and shit.

Actually, Doc, there is something else I wanna talk ‘bout some time soon. Right now it’s just an idea floatin’ ‘round in my head, but I wanted to tell you ’bout it so’s you can noodle on it too, and hopefully we kin get together after a while. Basically the idea is… there’s a lotta Junkers. Some of ‘em are good, and some are shit, and most are middlin’. And anybody who ain’t really a Junker… don’t got many ways of figurin’ out which is which. So I thought ‘bout settin’ up some kinda certification program or somethin’. Maybe for Junkers, maybe fer items themselves. That way people would know that they’re buyin’ a high quality item, or they know they’re buyin’ from a respected legitimate source, or whatever. People, I think, will trust Junkers more if they got some kinda way to be reasonably sure o’ what they’re gettin’, instead of just havin’ to trust the word of the dude sellin’ them things. Kinda like one o’ them old-school Better Business Bureaus or somethin’, ‘cept fer Junker stuff. So I figger we get together the best Junkers ’round, to set up a review board kinda thing, so obviously you’d be on that. It wouldn’t be any kind of official city thing or nothin’, a purely private enterprise. Junkers are best qualified to certify other Junkers, I figger. But… yeah. That’s what I been kinda thinkin’ ‘bout. Think on it, and next time I’m in town fer a couple o’ days I’ll try an’ get with you and we can talk s’more ’bout it, compare notes, all that kinda thing.

So yeah, I’ll leave you two lovely ladies to yer talk, and wish ya both the best o’ luck hashin’ it out. Lemme know how things go.



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